The Forest

You can't see the forest for the trees.
A well known phrase that I never thought much of except that I thought it would match this quick sketch.    ;)
Actually, once this pic did make me think of that phrase I thought about what it meant and was surprised that such a well known phrase that I didn't think much of matched myself so well.
This morning I had a horrible morning, not for any good reason other than the fact that I often get so bogged down in little details, specifically things that bug me, that I miss the big picture, like how much I really do have to be grateful for.
Sometimes I wonder about myself.
Am I the only one that thinks like that?
Is it just me that can be so crazy?
I guess I could look at that big picture again and see that, even though that part of my personality can get me in trouble, it is also the same part of me that can see to little details that do matter, and can make a positive difference.
I guess that's as good a way to look at it as any.
So long as I keep on that journey toward Peace.
'Til later,
Carol B.

An Apple a Day

An apple a day.
Let's keep healthy.
Oh, and, pardon the Oreo cookie crumbs on the pic.
Peace.
Carol B.

The Suspect Pizza Situation

So how many of you have aggravating adult children at home?

You know, the kind you can't tell anything to because of course they already know everything?

Ok, so call me an ungrateful mom.  I don't care.

Because here is my son who I had 37 hours of labor with (and yes, I rub it in) and some teenage years made in hell, so I can say anything I want.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my son and despite those horrible teenage years, he has turned into a wonderful young man who was smart enough to pick hurry-up-and-be-my-daughter-in-law Janine to be his girlfriend.

But sometimes this guy can drive me crazy.

Take for instance his habit of never cleaning out his stuff from the fridge.

Here is a picture of pizza that has been sitting wrapped up in the fridge for a week:

It was sitting in the back hidden with other stuff piled on top of it.

Now, if I told him to make sure to clean out his old stuff he would say 

"I know," and give me that look that says "mothers can be so irritating."

And so after many scenarios of dirty looks I finally told myself, "ok, so maybe I need to back off and he really will make sure to clean out his stuff from the fridge.

So I made sure not to say anything.  I did, however, move the pizza to the front of the fridge hoping to give him the hint.

So this is what his ugly pizza looks like after sitting in said refrigerator after a week:

 Trust me, it looks much worse in person, with little white stuff on top of it.
And so I can say that I did some art, this is a picture of what a nice slice of pizza looks like:

(Note: No ugly little white stuff on top of it).
And mind you, this is not the first time he's done this.
A while back he had food in two good tupperware containers in the fridge.  I kept trying not to say anything, but I worried he would not clean it out and it would get really yucky.
After a while I finally told him as nicely as possible "You know, that's really good tupperware, and if the food in there gets too yucky it's going to ruin my tupperware."
Of course he gave me that "I know" look.
And after four months of sitting in my fridge, one day I saw those two nice tupperware containers sitting in the trash.
Sigh.
Janini, hurry up and get this boy to marry you.
That way, when he tries ruining your tupperware, you can just kick his ass.
I give you permission.
'Til later,
Carol B.

My Husband and Ice Cream

I am confused.
Not surprising.
I have not been blogging for such a long time and I so miss it.
The reason is because I have been flailing in my art and I don't know which way to go as well as those other demons such as "am I good enough?" (brother, when will that ever go away?) and "what if I post this work and everyone thinks "why did she ever think that was good?"
Sigh.
But I love writing here and when I am not writing here I end up writing my cousin on the other side of the country these long ass emails which I know are because I have all these pent up thoughts that I have not gotten out with being here writing.
And then the longer I stay away from here, the more I really start to question the artwork I have been doing because yes, I still work at it though not as much as I should, but whatever little bit I do I know that if I post it here I will start to get in a roll again to really working and posting but as long as I shy away from here the more unconfident I get and the more I question as to whether I will ever get here again.
So what I have decided to do, as least for now, is to write here anyway, even if I don't have artwork to show, just so that I will get in the hang of being here again.
Since I love to write I was even considering just getting another blog site to write in but I thought I would start off here and see what happens.
So I know this is already long but I will continue with what I wanted to say today anyway.
Mid last week my husband started working nights and I wish I was posting here when that started because I really could have gotten a lot of thoughts out but oh well.
The point is that my husband and I are so used to spending all our time together.  Except when we are working, we do everything together.  We really are best friends, so suddenly me working days and him working nights has more than thrown us for a loop.
But today I was not working and he does not leave for work until 2 and so we both got up early and were just hanging out.  We even ordered food from one of our favorite places, "Lupe's" (a picture here would go great) (gotta start taking more pictures) and watched some recorded episodes of our new favorite program, "Big Bang Theory."
Despite the fact that he still had to leave I thought it was ok because we got to spend quite a bit of time together, only in reverse, in the morning instead of the evening.
So after he left I started doing some work and everything was ok for a while, and then the carton of Dreyer's ice cream in the freezer started calling me and pretty soon as I stood over the kitchen sink watching a stupid episode of Inside Edition on the little TV that sits on the shelf over the sink I thought "oh no, you're not really going to finish this entire carton of ice cream?" and yes, I knew I was and when I asked myself "why?" all I could think of was the fact that my husband was not with me and he was not going to be with me evenings anymore so why not just keep eating and eating?
Oh God.
Scary.
And so I decided to go back to doing some work but after a while all I could think of was that I still missed my husband so I decided to write about it and here I am.
And no, I did not find my husband at the bottom of that ice cream carton.
Oh well.
Carol B.

Color Me Joyful

A Song of Color and Joy
From You to Me.
Peace.
Carol B.

Happy Together

Love Blossoms when you allow it to grow.
Happy 1st Anniversary to my daughter Dionna and the love of her life, Alex.
Love Always,
Carol B.

Clear

I can't believe it's been eight months since my mom passed.
What's been tough is that I've been stuck.
It all happened so fast.
It wasn't supposed to happen.
We were hoping it wasn't going to happen.
So I never got to say goodbye.
In these eight months I've only been to the cemetery a handful of times.
And then only because my husband would drive me there without asking whether or not I wanted to.
Every time I could see he was driving that way I would cringe.
I didn't want to go.
Yet every time we would go I was glad we did.
I kept hoping every time I went there that I could finally let everything out, and maybe get some closure so I wouldn't constantly be so full of anger and confusion.
It never happened.
The other day something told me I had to go there by myself.
I finally got the chance today.
At first I didn't think anything was going to really come out, but I knew I had to try.
At first I stood there and made small talk.
And then it came out.
I talked and I cried and I talked and I cried.
I got to say everything that has been swirling around me for over eight months.
And then I said goodbye.
Now I am home and I can hear the birds singing a little more clearly.
I think I'm going to be alright.
Carol B.

Happy 10th Anniversary!

I can't believe it's been ten years since my hubby and I were married.
And the most wonderful thing is that I am still so happy to celebrate those years!
We do everything together and it is still a joy.
Looking forward to being together for always!
(P.S. That's a picture of our house in the background) (HA HA!)
Hoping you are sharing your life with those you love, too!
Love,
Carol B.

Doodles To You

Got the Doodle Bug.
Now, how to color?
Markers?
Watercolor?
Decisions, decisions!

Hope things are well with you!
Carol B.

Overcast With A Hint of Storm

Walk Thru Penn Park

Whittier, CA

Brrr!

It's cold.

Not our usual, beautiful, Southern California day.

About 61 degrees.

Yes, I know that's sissy weather.

But it's cold for us here.

Tomorrow it's supposed to storm.

Also not our usual, beautiful weather.

This weekend plan to simply cuddle up with my hubby, eat, and watch old movies.

After which my hair will look like the flower above.

Ha ha!

Hope you have a beautiful, comfy weekend!

Carol B.

To Thine Own Self Be True

"In Turbulence, Ever Peace"

Acrylic on Watercolor Paper

12"x9"

I have been playing with abstracts lately, but do I ever miss faces!

Since many people paint faces, I thought, maybe I should do something else.

I have been working on various things, but I just couldn't resist.

Sigh.

To thine own self be true.

Not done with this yet, but just had to put it up.

Peace.

Carol B.

Commitment

I've been thinking a lot about exactly who I am and what I want to accomplish.

Hint; Young women out there, don't run away from this question. If you spend your life avoiding having to deal with this, it will only cause you more pain in all the years you spend running as opposed to spending a little time now to answer this question and then move on.

It's like avoiding doing your taxes. Just the thought of having to stop to do them seems so painful that you spend your time avoiding it. Meanwhile, the months that you are avoiding it while it hangs over your head are so painful that you're really not avoiding the headache anyway. Finally, around April 14th, you realize you have no alternative than to face up to it. You get it done and then you think "you mean I spent all that time going through all that pain avoiding it and now it's done and it really wasn't that bad after all and meanwhile I could have avoided all that pain!"

Yes, that is what it is like to finally stop and commit to finding out who you really are, and what you really want to do.

Younger women who don't quite know what I am talking about, take my word for it.

Older women who have lived this, say "Amen."

'Til later,

Carol B.

Greetings From Sunny Southern California!

Today is the last day of my "vacation."

I am a substitute teacher and today is the last "free" day I have to do whatever I want before I go back to work on Monday.

Everyone says, "wow, lucky you, you have three weeks off!" which yes, is nice, only I don't get paid for that time off so my next paycheck will be yikes ultra small.

The fun part, though, is that yes, we were able to do some nice things during that time.

How come I never remember to take pictures?

Everyone else takes pictures of everywhere they go, including places I would not think of taking pictures of, and then they make great photos and great posts.

Oh well. I am hoping one day I will learn.

For now, the only time I can get pics is if my hubby takes them, which he loves to do.

During our time off, of which my hubby also had a week off, we took my dad to the corporate headquarters of "In-N-Out."

I think In-N-Out is mostly only in California and that they are beginning to branch out a bit going east, so if you are not from here, particularly Southern California, you might not have heard of In-N-Out, but over here, they are super famous for great burgers. And at this particular store in Baldwin Park, they have company offices located several yards away from the restaurant, as well as a store that sells merchandise with their great artwork.

My dad loves In-N-Out, so we thought it would be fun to make a little outing of it to take him to go eat and then look at the company store.

Yes, I know.

Other teachers are spending their vacations going to Hawaii, Europe, or on a cruise.

Me, I go out to eat a burger and look at stores.

Anyway, the above photo is a pic of me and my dad, and if I do say so myself, I can't believe how beautiful my hair looks!

I know how that sounds, only you don't know how much trouble my hair always gives me, so yes, I am going to get thrilled and comment on how beautiful my hair looks. ;D

My hubby was taking pictures all over the place, but I really liked how this sign came out:

It includes one of my favorite images, which is of L.A.'s famous palm trees.

I don't know why I love them so much. Maybe because they are such an iconic symbol of beautiful, sunny, Southern California, and all the dreams they hold.

So I also included a photo of the real thing:

That's so I can show my cousin, who just moved back to the east coast, all she is missing.

She said that today the weather was going to move from freezing all the way up to 43 degrees.

Over here we have been enjoying sunny weather in the upper 80's, although today it moved down to a chilly 75 degrees.

HA HA!

Just had to rub it in, Cuz!

Hope you all had a great holiday time and that your New Year is already off to a good start!

'Til later,

Carol B.