Yes

I was asked a question; 

What will you say yes to in your life?

I was astounded to find out how hard it was to answer that question.

I realized it was easy to think about what I would say no to in my life.

No to what I think.  No to what I believe.  No to my very existence.  

What did that mean?

Just say it out loud.

It means no to honoring myself.

Not honoring myself means not respecting myself.

Not respecting myself means I can never be happy about anything in my life, even when I finally reach what I think will make me happy.

Because not respecting myself means not truly respecting anyone or anything else around me, which means not being able to enjoy anyone else or anything else around me.

I grew up with the distorted belief that you are supposed to put yourself down and lift others up and that would be a good thing.

It is not.

You can pretend it is, but in the long run, it only brings bitterness and resentment.  Because after a while you will grow tired of it and say, "when is it my turn?"

And you wait for others to give you that honor, but even when they do, it will still not be good enough.  

Because what your spirit is really waiting for is for you to love and honor yourself.

When you do that, all the craziness that runs wild in your head will finally quiet down, and then you can look at others and see them for who they truly are, love them for who they truly are.  

I am just learning.

But I have to let this out.

Just for today, I will honor myself.

Just for today, I will honor my beliefs, my words, and my work.

Just for today I will honor my body, even though it is not as perfect as society says it should be.

Just for today, I will honor my eyes that allow me see, my ears that allow me hear, and my breath that allows me to be alive.

I will stop and honor myself in this present moment, exactly where I am today.

Day One,

to saying Yes

to honoring myself.

Carol B.