The first thing I thought was, no regrets? Are you kidding? My entire life is filled with regrets.
The second thing I thought was, how can I possibly learn to be a better person if I have no regrets? For a person who lived on guilt, this seemed impossible. If you didn't regret something, that meant you wouldn't see it as a wrong move and then you couldn't do better next time, which meant you would keep making the same mistakes over and over.
On the other hand, if I lived on regret, how is it that I did keep making the same mistakes over and over?
I see now that living in regret means that I keep hashing my mistakes over and over, which makes me miserable which makes me condemn myself which makes me think I will never be able to do better which paralyzes me with fear from thinking of a better solution which makes me keep making the same mistake over and over.
I found that if I do something and I am not pleased with the results I simply tell myself No Regrets. What is done is done. I tell myself that this event has simply brought me one step further along my path (which is MUCH better than standing still or going backwards). If I do not drench the situation in condemnation, I will not be paralyzed in my tracks with the fear of regret. I can then look at it as a problem to solve, a challenge, like figuring out a puzzle. This will allow me to consider the various resources I have to resolve this challenge or decide on other paths I could take next time that might lead to a more satisfying result.
And I can move on.
Which makes me feel wonderful.
Which allows me to see myself as a wise woman.
Which allows me to honor myself.
And we continue.