Thursday, November 6, 2008

No Regrets

One of the key concepts I am learning in honoring myself is No Regrets.
The first thing I thought was, no regrets?  Are you kidding?  My entire life is filled with regrets.
The second thing I thought was, how can I possibly learn to be a better person if I have no regrets?  For a person who lived on guilt, this seemed impossible.  If you didn't regret something, that meant you wouldn't see it as a wrong move and then you couldn't do better next time, which meant you would keep making the same mistakes over and over.
On the other hand, if I lived on regret, how is it that I did keep making the same mistakes over and over?  
I see now that living in regret means that I keep hashing my mistakes over and over, which makes me miserable which makes me condemn myself which makes me think I will never be able to do better which paralyzes me with fear from thinking of a better solution which makes me keep making the same mistake over and over.
I found that if I do something and I am not pleased with the results I simply tell myself No Regrets.  What is done is done.  I tell myself that this event has simply brought me one step further along my path (which is MUCH better than standing still or going backwards).  If I do not drench the situation in condemnation, I will not be paralyzed in my tracks with the fear of regret.  I can then look at it as a problem to solve, a challenge, like figuring out a puzzle.  This will allow me to consider the various resources I have to resolve this challenge or decide on other paths I could take next time that might lead to a more satisfying result.  
And I can move on.
Which makes me feel wonderful.
Which allows me to see myself as a wise woman.
Which allows me to honor myself.
And we continue.
Carol B.


julie king said...

oh, i think this is such a healthy outlook on life. we're only human and we're going to make mistakes. the important thing is to deal with it and move on!

Azul Valentina said...

No mistakes Carol, we learn, and when we do it again, it means that we need to learn something new. I learn to live my life without regrets, I learn not to live thinking in what I had done wrong and concentrating on what can I do to become a better person.. never regrets!


Dawnie said...

where are you? hope all is well! Come back to blogland!

Anonymous said...

Ms. Carol -
Did you know Suzi Blu is coming to San Diego in April!?! I'm so excited! I hope you can make it too! My husband and I plan to attend, and it would be so nice to see you, and meet you there!

Sending Love and Light your way Chickie! I hope you get back to blogging soon! :)
emily :)