Monday, April 6, 2009

The Color Of Healing

Oh, my.
So how many months has it been?
Too many to count.
I had all but given up on myself.  Because of some setbacks I had decided to give up on the true me.
But I was not happy.
You will never be happy when you are not true to you.
I have decided that, what ever road I might follow, whatever job I might have to take on, if I give up my art, I will never be happy.
I have decided to be happy.
I have decided to heal.
I have a piece of writing that was given to me, many moons ago, by a young niece.  When she gave it to me she said, "I know how much you love art.  I saw this and I thought of you."  She gave it to me soooo many years ago, but I always saved it.  Even when I had left art, I saved it.  Once in a while I would come back to it and sigh.  I would put it away, but I could never run away from it's truth.  It says;
"What would a woman artist miss if she gave up her art?  She gives up her dreams.  She gives up struggle, harassment, disappointment...She gives up the song of the angels...the miracle of being alive."    
-Miriam Schapiro
I am no longer willing to give up the miracle of being alive.
And so I am here.
Carol B.

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