Sunday, April 25, 2010

Happy Anniversary to Me and My Sweetie!

This is a picture of the man I have been married to for eight years.
Today is our 8th wedding anniversary.
Very simply, what I would like to say about this man is how special he is to me and how lucky I am to have found him, especially so late in life.
He is very quiet and unassuming, at least, on the outside.
And then, sometimes he can be wacky and crazy.
He makes me laugh.
He makes me think.
He quiets me down when I am wired and uptight.
He is there for me.
He makes me believe that there is a man out there that really loves me.
He supports me in my decisions, whether they be good or questionable.
He accepts me just the way I am.
Even when I am not made up, he makes me feel beautiful.
Even if I am on the heavier side, he makes me feel sexy and desirable.
He doesn't stand in my way, but supports me no matter what.
With him, I have been able to explore who I really am, without feeling I need to hold back because of fear of not being accepted.
He has allowed me to ride this journey of finding out who I really am, and he is still there for me.
I really love this man.
We were, cliche or not, really made for each other.
Thank you, my sweetie, for being there for me.
Thank you for bringing hope back into my life.
Te quiero mucho.
I will love you for always.
Por Vida,

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Ice, Ice, Baby!

Here is a picture of my latest necklace:

I am having a fun time making jewelry, but I am having an awful time trying to get a decent photo of my work. As you would have noticed, most of the photos I have been showing you look like this:
It's a bummer because in person they look real purdy, I promise!
The photos I have been showing you I have taken with my little Kodak camera, not an expensive one. However, my husband is an amateur photographer and he's really good so I asked him to take some photos with his good camera and even though he takes outrageous close up photos of flowers, his photos of my jewelry honestly didn't turn out any better than the ones I took with my cheap camera (I can say this because he never reads my blog).
He recently upgraded to this even more expensive camera which I cannot tell you what it is because I am not into fancy cameras, though my out-of-state cousin can tell you because she also has a fancy-dancy camera.
But since he has now upgraded he said I could use his Canon Rebel anytime I want to but like I said, even with his fancier camera he couldn't do any better for whatever reason, so if anyone out there knows what I can do to take better photos of my jewelry, I would appreciate any advice you can give me.
For now, though, I am having a great time making jewelry, although I do also want to get back to my painting.
I want to be able to do both, as well as write (I like to write fiction) and exercise and cook healthy meals and do a better job of decorating my house and become a more spiritually grounded person and bring about world peace and marry Antonio Banderas..
Oh, sorry.
Got carried away.
How about someone just tell my how to take better photos of my jewelry?
Hoping you are making all your dreams come true.
'Til later,
Carol B.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Art Necklace

Here is the latest necklace I've made:

I bought the pendant at a small gallery. I wish I could give credit to the artist who made it but there was no name. Whoever made it, I loved it and had to have it.
When I bought the pendant it was on a key ring. Many years ago, I used to love buying key ring pendants (if that's what you call them). I would hang them all on my key ring. As you can imagine, after a while my key ring became too heavy to continue carrying all those pendants so I took them off and put them away.
That was sad because I love the art you can get from key pendants and I hated to stop buying them as well as keeping what I did have stuffed in a drawer.
Now that I am making jewelry, I got the idea that I can get all those pendants and make jewelry out of them, whether it be necklaces or bracelets.

Although the pendant is beautiful, I have to say that I love the necklace that I designed myself to go with it.
And look what it just happens to say on the back:

One of my favorite words.
A beautiful word indeed to live by.
'Til later,
"Createfully" yours,
Carol B.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Following Her Dream

Here is my hurry-up-and-be-my-daughter-in-law, the lovely Janine.
As well as working, she has been in her local community college, making her way through the academic world.
She has tried out a few ideas to see what she wanted to major in, and then she did what it takes so many of us way too long to do; she followed her heart.
Janine has such a love of animals, and she did the perfect thing; she saw what it was that she really had a passion for, and she has decided to become a veterinarian.
I am so happy for her. How many of us wish we had discovered what she discovered at such a young age. I know she has made a choice that will allow her to keep her spirit at peace, through times that are challenging, as well as those that flow with ease.
I wish you all the best, Janine, and you know you have family everywhere that is rallying around to support you.
God Bless you in following your dream.
Love Always,
Carol B.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Blue Necklace

I wish I could take better pictures of the necklaces I've been making.
One day I will, but not right now.
Meanwhile, here is another necklace and no, I'm not going to make up a story to go with it. I would actually like to but today I subbed for a kinder class, so again, I'm running on empty. That's why I didn't post yesterday but I wanted to make sure to get here today.
I'm thinking about this and it's a bummer because I realize how much I really like writing something I feel is thoughtful and significant.
Oh well.
For today I'm showing you this necklace and always keep in mind that they look much more beautiful in person.
I really want to start up my Etsy shop again and put these in, in which case I will make sure to put up better pictures.
I think I'm rambling so I'll stop right here.
Hope my thoughts are working better next week.
'Til later,
Carol B.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Ocean Breeze

I am finally learning how to make jewelry, something I have wanted to do for a long time.
I have not as yet taken a class, although I am anxious to. I am simply experimenting by myself, so if you are an expert jewelry artist please look with kind understanding! ;)
I call this "Ocean Breeze," because it reminds me of an evening standing by the ocean, watching as the reflections of the night stars sparkle like diamonds across the sea.
Ok, so it sounds corny, but I am very tired after working all day with a class of first graders. I love them, but by the end of the day I am ready to come home and relax. But I am really trying to get up and continue working, so I will get up right now and walk into my art room.
'Til later,
Carol B.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Color Your World

Even though I have a teacher subbing gig all week, I am determined to be here anyway!
Let's see if I make it!
So here is a picture of my Baby Girl that I took on her birthday. This was in February but it goes to show that yes, even though I felt like I was not doing anything at all, I really was.
Instead of buying wrapping paper, I got a huge sheet of butcher paper and painted and dripped and squirted and just plain had fun ala Alisa Burke (a fantastic San Diego based artist. I don't have the link here but google her and check her out!)
It was sooo much fun to paint and it added that touch of living artfully by touching unexpected areas of your life with art.
Everybody really liked it and of course it looked better in person than this pic can show. My daughter Dionna said she could frame it and Janine said she could use it as a background for scrapbooking since my daughter likes to scrapbook.
Either way it feels great to make something more personal by touching it with your special form of art.
How do you color your world?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Crashing Through Limitations

I am Alice, falling down the rabbit hole.
I would have much rather used a pic from the Tim Burton movie which yes, I am now obsessed with. In that movie (which you have to see if you have not) you get a real sense of Alice crashing into one thing and then another as she flies down the hole.
That is what I have been doing for quite a while now. Even though I had not been posting and I have not been doing any kind of "official," "major" work, I have been trying this and that, to get a better sense of crashing through my limitations.
One thing I did was I got an old book that I had picked from an estate sale:
Originally, I tore out a few pages to use in multimedia work. Then I got the idea that it might be fun just to paint in the actual book and leave it as that. Just doodling, painting in whatever way came to my mind, just for the fun of it. And that is what it is; fun. I just doodled with a Sharpie marker whatever came to mind and then watercolored it in.
Here are a few pages:

Nothing planned. Just doodling. Then color it in like when I was young, having fun coloring in coloring books.
And it looks even cooler in person, opening up this old book and finding your paintings in there.
Try it.
No perfection.
Just relax and have a ball!
'Til later,
Wishing you a great weekend,

Thursday, April 8, 2010

"Your Have Regained Your Muchness"

Last week my out-of-state cousin called and said, "Carol, I just saw Alice in Wonderland and I am compelled to tell you to see it."
I had not planned to see it because I thought I would not like it. It looked weird, as Tim Burton's work usually does.
Now, that is not an insult. I know he is very talented, but his work is just weird for me personally.
I have never seen his other work, but the previews seemed weird for me.
On the other hand, I did see his original Batman and I did like it, especially the dark weirdness, so, come to think of it, what do I know? Maybe I would have loved all his work.
I guess it was seeing the Queen of Hearts with that big head that freaked me out.
Anyway, my cousin told me to see it because she felt the art direction would speak to me in this time when I have been twirling around with various things, trying to find my niche again.
I told her I would consider seeing it but frankly, I didn't think I probably would.
So it was funny how on Easter when my family got together at my parents' house that I mentioned seeing it to my daughter, Dionna, who had already seen it and I asked her if she thought I would be moved by the art direction. I don't know if she quite knew what I meant, but she told me she had loved the designs of Alice's dresses and had liked the movie in general. Then my I-WISH-SHE-WOULD-HURRY-UP-AND-BE-MY-DAUGHTER-IN-LAW Janine said that she wanted to see the movie but my son did not want to see it so my daughter had the idea that, since all three of us would be off from work on Wednesday that we should see it together.
Long story short (too late) we saw it yesterday and
I loved it.
My cousin was right. The art and design totally inspired me, but it was also the story which had to do with "Regaining Your Muchness," meaning, going back to who you are, who you were meant to be, finding your true self and regaining your strength and courage.
When I walked out of the theater I was stunned silent and Janine knew. She knew exactly what I was thinking about, and then all three of us knew that it was about Regaining Our Muchness which, from this point, we all vowed to do.
So, other than being so inspired in so many ways by the movie, I came here to say that the reason I have not been here so much is because I started working again and though I vow to get to my art and writing I don't.
But I so want to be.
I miss being here so much.
And yet I want to be perfect and I want to write the perfect words and put up the perfect pictures and only show my art at it's best and so, as so many times when you want things to be perfect or not at all it ends up being not at all.
At least for me.
And I am tired of it and so I have decided to be here even if what I am working on is not perfect and not great and my words aren't perfect or great or inspirational.
I just want to be here and write and show my work even if it is just dabbling, because I believe that if I just get here and SHOW UP that eventually it will all even out and I will have found where I am supposed to be.
And I am tired of trying to be perfect when I am so not.
I grew up this person with so many issues but you are supposed to put a smile on your face and look like you are altogether. But of course, those of us who do that either end up going wacko or falling apart.
I just want to come here and Be.
Of course, right now it is easy to be here because I am a teacher and I am off for the Easter holiday. But then I tell myself that no, I am not a full time teacher like I used to be, I am a substitute, so I do have more time than I used to way back when. But then I come home tired and I don't feel like doing all those things I so want to do and I blame being at work and then I read other blogs of other artists who work full time jobs and have young kids and then I think, UGH! I so do hate these women (only kidding) for making me look so inadequate when I really have so much more time than they do.
But from this point I will not think yucky things about them. I will look to them as inspiration that if they can do it, I can do it, because I know that is really what all those wonderful I-am-really-in-awe-of-you women would say to me.
So right now I am vowing to be here, even if what I say is not inspirational or the art I show you is just imperfect stuff I am dabbling with.
I just want to be here and share and work out those art muscles so that those who know me can one day look me in the eye say,
"Carol, you have regained your muchness."
So thank you to all, including my Cuz for insisting I see this movie, to my daughter Dionna, who paid for us all to get in, as well as gave us each a stash of peanut M&M's (Yeah!) and to Janine, who treated us all to In-and-Out Burgers after the movie.
Thank you to all the tribe of women surrounding me, who, unbeknownst to me, have always been there, standing in support of me to Regain My Muchness.
Love Always,
Carol B.