Friday, September 18, 2009


Faces, faces.
I love faces.
This is an unfinished oil portrait I've been working on.  Needs more work, but I like the way it's coming out and I love playing with oils.
Of course, now that I am looking at it posted I see all the things that are wrong.
It's funny how you can work on something and look at it from every which way, far away, close up, upside down, or reflected in the mirror.  You look for what you need to work on, and just when you think you can't find anything else, you post it or hang it up and suddenly you think "how did I miss that?"
But just the fact that you are able to see something you previously missed means you are improving.
And that's what it's all about.
Wishing you all a good weekend,
Carol B.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Let Your Creativity Flourish

My favorite words.
How necessary is creativity?
I spent too many years running from the creativity I so loved.
Oh brother.
Too many issues to even get into.
One thing I know.
It is necessary.
It is necessary to live.
It is necessary to breathe.
Don't let anyone tell you it is an irresponsible waste of time.
Even if that anyone is your own inner voice.
Why, even people who are not the most religious people call God the Creator.
So, how important and responsible do you think creativity is?
And how important is it for us to follow our call to creativity?
Whatever form it comes in.
Whether it is painting or drawing or photography or sewing or designing a beautiful garden or cooking a wonderful meal.
Let us no longer run from our heart's calling.
Let your creativity flourish.
Carol B.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Thanks, Janine!

Here is the picture from my art journal that I posted the day before.  
Only last time, I was having a problem with my scanning in that it was not posting the entire picture, which I felt left out a lot of important images.  
Oh, sorry.
Got carried away.
I was going to say thanks to Janine who is a whiz with scanners and helped me fix my problem so that I could rescan the picture and post it showing the entire image.  Thanks to her also for encouraging me to play with the colors.  I don't have photoshop.  Just the little tools that come on my Mac iphoto, but it was fun playing with the little bit of tools I do have.  Maybe one day I'll get into photoshop and find out about all the fun everyone else has digitally playing with their art.
'Til later,
Carol B.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Goodnight, Sleep in Peace

Knew it was coming but still a shock.
Maybe because after his last interview with Barbara Walters several months back I was hoping a miracle might happen and he would live.
Yesterday Patrick Swayze lost his battle with cancer.
I want to say, why does a man like that have to die while idiots like Kanye West continue to run around causing havoc?
Sorry, but I just had to say that.
As it is, the thing with Kanye West had me so furious yesterday the only thing that took me away from the anger was the sadness over Patrick Swayze.
So let's focus back on a real man.
God bless Patrick and his wife and all the rest of his family.
Rest in peace, Patrick.
Carol B.

Monday, September 14, 2009


Playing with images in my art journal.
Just whatever way the brush turns.
Wondering if there is a message hiding within.
Don't know if there is, but it's fun playing!
Carol B.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Remembering those who died.
Remembering those who fought for our safety.
Remembering those who still fight for our freedom.
God Bless.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Integrity is being true to yourself, to your vision as you know you were created to be.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Making It Personal

I was going to whine and complain about other things, but first I am going to whine and complain about the fact that I really need to learn how to fix the color in a scan or learn photo shop (even better) because I see this journal page I did looks not that great as a scan when it looks much better in person (honest).  (If you click on it, you can see it close up and it looks better).
This morning I was going to post early, only I was feeling really whiney about my life and something told me to wait and I am glad I did.
My main complaint (or at least, on the surface) was that I was going to whine and complain about feeling fat today even though my hubby and I spent yesterday evening pigging out.
"Why me?" I would cry today.
As they say, "why not you?"
But this morning I was feeling the world was out to get me.
Then I saw Obama's speech to the students.
Contrary to some public opinion, it was not about indoctrinating the kids into socialism.  
I am not knocking people's opinions on that, I am merely stating that I heard the speech and I can assure you it was not about socialism.
Anyway, the main thing that was said was that, no matter what you are going through in life, your life is your responsibility.
Yes, you can have problems, even very unfair things happening in your life, and things might be harder for you than for others, but, in the end, making your life work is still your responsibility.
That's the message in a nutshell.  It is more detailed and specifically focused on students succeeding in school.  As a former teacher, I was saying "YES!" because, even though there are many things to fix in the school system, teachers and everyone else could be working really hard to make sure students learn, but if students are not going to bother to do their part, they are not going to learn.
Anyway, putting aside politics and my views on the educational situation, I heard the speech and realized that the message was also relevant to everyone's personal life.  At least, it was very relevant to my personal life, especially to what I had been feeling this morning.  
The fact is, no one puts that extra food in my mouth except me.
No one puts the majority of those negative thoughts in my head but me.
And if someone does, no one keeps them in my head but me.
If I want to succeed in whatever area in my life I want to succeed, whether it is my health, love, family, self acceptance, and even art, no one is responsible for doing that but me.  It could be really hard but that doesn't mean I can't do it.
Now, after this very nice revelation, I might be back to complaining tomorrow, but from now on I want to make it a point to stop taking the easy way out, complaining without taking responsibility.  
Yes, sometimes life is hard and we have the right to take some time to heal our hearts, but I am speaking specifically to myself when I say that enough is enough, I have complained too long, and I need to take responsibility and make my life happen the way I want it to happen because we really do have what it takes to make our life be what we want it to be.   
So today I'll try to eat healthier, and do some more art and see what else I can do today to make my life better tomorrow.
One day at a time.
'Til later,
Carol B.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Rest In Peace

It has been more than two months since Michael Jackson died and today they are finally burying him.  
At the time when he suddenly passed I, like so many other people, was shocked to hear the news.  I was glued to the TV and constantly checking out TMZ to find out what was happening. It seemed like there was no news other than Michael Jackson.
My husband told me, "don't worry.  Before you know it, everyone's going to forget and it won't be news anymore."
At the time I thought that comment was absurd.  This was such big news it seemed like nothing else would ever matter, at least not for a very long time.
But sure enough, it has been so freakin' long that they have had him on ice that, even though this is the big day, it no longer seems like news.
It really is such a shame that all the scandals and family fighting would have him just lying there.
My husband felt the most for Michael's mother, Katherine.  In my husband's first marriage he had a son that was killed in a car accident when he was only 14.  A parent's worst nightmare. Knowing all too well what a parent goes through, he was angry at the Jackson family and all their bickering that would put Michael's poor, long suffering mother through this.
"Let the woman just bury her son," he said.
And so now, all the international hoopla aside, a mother can finally bury her son. 
Rest in peace.
Carol B.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Happy Birthday, Cuz!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my cousin Karen in Arizona!
Should I tell everyone how OLD you are?
Even though I am older than you, I can make fun of you and pretend you are older since this is my blog and I can do anything I want!
But don't worry.  Since I'm nice I won't do that.
I would like to thank my Cuz for showing me and my hubby a nice time this past weekend.  She and her hubby were out here in L.A. for a few days.  We took turns taking each other out and on Saturday she took my hubby and I out to a wonderful place for lunch.  She also treated us to see our very first Harry Potter movie and I have to say, it was great.  It was the latest movie, the Half-Blood Prince.  I know everyone talks about how great these movies are and they are shocked when we say we have never seen one.  We have never bothered to go to one, but when she said she would treat us, we said, what the heck!  Free?  Why not!
So we saw the movie at an Imax theater and we really enjoyed it.  Now we want to go and rent all the other previous movies so we can catch up on them.
The funny thing is that we went to this apparently new area that is around the corner from Disneyland called "Garden Walk" in Anaheim.  My husband and I spend our weekends trying to find new places to walk around and hang out and we had been going through a dry spell not knowing where to go except to hang out at Barnes and Nobles and Target.  My cousin had to come all the way from out of state to show us what we had in our own backyard.  She also tells me stuff that is going on in my own family that I don't even know about.  She tells me something and I say, "I didn't even know that!  How come you are out of state and you know that and I don't?"  And then she says, "Do you ever call your mother?"  And I say, "Ok.  Never mind." 
Anyway, I hope you are having a good birthday today, Cuz, and to anyone else out there who might be sharing a birthday today or any other time this month I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Wishing everyone the Best Always,
Carol B.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Whole Week

Has it been a whole week since I last posted?
Oh, brother!
Right when I was doing really good.
I was asking myself "why?" and the only thing I can come up with, once again, is when something happens that gets to my insides I end up hiding out.
This time it wasn't anything really drastic, well, in a way.  But I can tell that it was Ted Kennedy passing. 
When I was a little girl, I idolized the Kennedys.  It was all that idealistic talk of the 60's.  I was around when President Kennedy was assassinated.  Even though I was very young, it really devastated me.  And then Bobby Kennedy was assassinated, and again the devastation.  I put all my ideal hopes in Ted Kennedy but after Chapaquidick (I probably I spelled that wrong) everything went down the tubes.  At the time, I was still too young to understand what all the scandal meant, so I kept my hopes up for the Kennedy dynasty but when Ted ran for the presidency and lost, it all fell away for me.
Later, when I was older and realized what all those Kennedy scandals meant, I turned my back on them, disgusted.
So when we knew Ted Kennedy was going to die I thought I didn't care, but when they announced the news last week, it really got to me.  I felt terrible, and yes, I can now see that is when I stopped blogging.
Sure, we all knew he was going to die and, after he didn't show up at his sister's funeral, it looked like it was about to happen soon, but still it was a shock.  
I think it was another Kennedy dying, and how that connected with the deep feelings I had when I was young.  So that, despite the fact that I had said I didn't care about the Kennedys anymore, all the feelings came flooding back and there I was, back in 1963 when President Kennedy was assassinated, and 1968 when Bobby was assassinated, and it was all too much.
It's funny how I had no idea I was going to write all this.  I was just going to mention it as a little line in passing and talk about other things.  The fact that I had this much to say shows that I was hiding my feelings more than I thought, which always proves not to be a good thing.
If I had known this was what I was going to write about I would have put up a picture of the Kennedys.  But, as it is, the Blogger system is not working well right now and I could not even put up a default picture.  I will be lucky if this whole post doesn't go down the tubes and not publish, like it is warning me in little red letters right now.
Oh well.
So here I am, back again.
I'll catch up on other things later.
'Til then, hoping you are having a great day!
Carol B.