Right when I was doing really good.
I was asking myself "why?" and the only thing I can come up with, once again, is when something happens that gets to my insides I end up hiding out.
This time it wasn't anything really drastic, well, in a way. But I can tell that it was Ted Kennedy passing.
When I was a little girl, I idolized the Kennedys. It was all that idealistic talk of the 60's. I was around when President Kennedy was assassinated. Even though I was very young, it really devastated me. And then Bobby Kennedy was assassinated, and again the devastation. I put all my ideal hopes in Ted Kennedy but after Chapaquidick (I probably I spelled that wrong) everything went down the tubes. At the time, I was still too young to understand what all the scandal meant, so I kept my hopes up for the Kennedy dynasty but when Ted ran for the presidency and lost, it all fell away for me.
Later, when I was older and realized what all those Kennedy scandals meant, I turned my back on them, disgusted.
So when we knew Ted Kennedy was going to die I thought I didn't care, but when they announced the news last week, it really got to me. I felt terrible, and yes, I can now see that is when I stopped blogging.
Sure, we all knew he was going to die and, after he didn't show up at his sister's funeral, it looked like it was about to happen soon, but still it was a shock.
I think it was another Kennedy dying, and how that connected with the deep feelings I had when I was young. So that, despite the fact that I had said I didn't care about the Kennedys anymore, all the feelings came flooding back and there I was, back in 1963 when President Kennedy was assassinated, and 1968 when Bobby was assassinated, and it was all too much.
It's funny how I had no idea I was going to write all this. I was just going to mention it as a little line in passing and talk about other things. The fact that I had this much to say shows that I was hiding my feelings more than I thought, which always proves not to be a good thing.
If I had known this was what I was going to write about I would have put up a picture of the Kennedys. But, as it is, the Blogger system is not working well right now and I could not even put up a default picture. I will be lucky if this whole post doesn't go down the tubes and not publish, like it is warning me in little red letters right now.
So here I am, back again.
I'll catch up on other things later.
'Til then, hoping you are having a great day!