Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Am Sacred

Here are pictures of my new painting.  It is called "I Am Sacred."  
I really love this painting.  I wish you could see how beautiful all the colors are.  Taking it with my digital doesn't give it justice, but trust me, it is really beautiful.  As soon as I can, I will be putting it up for sale in my Etsy Shop. 
I am showing three views here.  One is the total view, one is a little more close up so you can see the heart with the heart jewel, and one is a close up of her face.
As I am writing this the pictures are scooting around the page.  I don't know what this post is going to look like when I am done, but I hope it does not look too crazy.
Anyway, it is a beautiful painting and I am very proud of it. 
But what I am even happier about is what I have been learning in the process.
All my life I have felt "not good enough."  You name it, I felt it.  For a lot of years I have been in the process of learning to love and appreciate myself.  Believe me, it is one of the hardest journeys you could possibly be on.  Years go by and you feel like maybe you have even gone downhill, much less made any progress at all.
And then it happens.
You start to know that you are, indeed, Sacred.
You start to realize that you are not so defective because of the things you have gone through. It turns out that everyone, and I mean everyone else in this world has gone through the same thing or something similar.  It does not mean you are not good enough.  It just means you are alive.
I always thought that if I was beautiful enough, I would never be cheated on, like I was in past relationships.  Do you know that someone as gorgeous as Hallie Berry was cheated on by her husband?  Do you know that Pamela Anderson, Miss Sex-Queen-Every-Man's-Sex-Dream, even she was cheated on by her husband Tommy Lee?  I mean, how could you look and act like Pamela Anderson and be cheated on by your husband?
Anyway, it has taken me a long time to make peace with myself, and believe me, I still have a long way to go.  But, after all these years, I am really beginning to believe that I am not only good enough, but that I Am Sacred.  I am special.  I am good enough, and wonderful, just the way I am.  
And when you start to realize that, Magic happens.  The real you starts coming out, not the fake person you have been hiding behind.  And you know what?  That Real You really is something else!  That Real You is kind, passionate, exciting, intelligent, creative, and Absolutely Maaavelous, baby!
If you have been trying to work on yourself for a long time and think you haven't been getting very far, don't give up.  If I can do this, believe me, ANYBODY can.  
Let's do this together.  
Believe me, the world needs the Real You.
You are beautiful.
You are wonderful.
You Are Sacred.
Carol B.


Dawnie said...

your painting is indeed beautiful..she's beautiful. some of what you wrote got to me. first of all, i'm 50 now. all my life i felt the exact way you stated..not good enough. I still at times feel that way--despite knowing I am sacred and beautiful and worthy. certain situations can make my confidence plummet. I have yet to find my creative side but want to desperately so that I can end the job i'm in. I never got a degree but have managed most of my life to land really good, and good paying work. In order to move even higher up i would have to go to school--i have no desire whatsoever to do that...unless it were course to improve my creative side whatever that would be.

julie king said...

oh, i think she is just beautiful! i love all the detail in her dress.

Charlie said...

She is beautiful! I love it! I'm taking Paulette's class right now too. I found you through a discussion. your work is great. So cool you sold your painting.

Anonymous said...

She's Beautiful! Nice work Ms. Carol!

And love the studio~ Thank you so much for sharing a pic of your workspace! :)

blueberries in the fields said...

beautiful painting ! It shows how good a person you really are.
be proud !